This summer, I found myself on a hiking trail on the breathtaking Colorado Plateau. As I reached a clearing, the view unfolded like a painting—rocky cliffs kissed by the sun, wildflowers dancing in the breeze, and a crystal-clear river reflecting the sky. In that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude wash over me. It was a reminder that life is not just about the big milestones but also about savoring the small moments that fill our days with joy.
Loving life is often about perspective. Take the story of Maya, she turned her morning commute into a ritual of joy. Rather than dreading the crowded subway, she started bringing her favorite book along. Each ride transformed into an escape, a little adventure in the midst of her busy routine. She discovered that joy could be found in the simplest of actions, like flipping the pages of a novel or observing the world through the window. This shift in mindset not only made her commute bearable but also sparked a love for reading that she hadn’t tapped into before.
Then there’s the case of Mark, who decided to embrace spontaneity. Tired of the monotony of his daily grind, he began saying “yes” to every invitation and opportunity that came his way. This simple change led him to join a salsa class, try his hand at pottery, and even go skydiving. Each new experience not only expanded his horizons but also brought him a sense of exhilaration that reignited his passion for life.
Loving life also involves cherishing the people around us. A simple family dinner can become a cherished memory when filled with laughter and stories. Last month, at a potluck with friends, everyone brought a dish that held a special meaning. As we shared food and memories, the evening turned into a celebration of our lives—our dreams, our challenges, and the beauty of our connections.
Ultimately, loving life is about cultivating gratitude, embracing spontaneity, and nurturing relationships. It’s about finding joy in the mundane and turning ordinary moments into extraordinary memories. As we navigate our journeys, let’s remember that life is a tapestry woven from these experiences. By choosing to love and appreciate every thread, we can create a rich and fulfilling existence. So, take a moment today to pause, breathe, and embrace the beauty of life all around you. You might just discover that love for life was waiting for you all along.
Have you ever given someone a gift, never to see them wear it, hang it on the wall, or utilize it in any way? After my sister was married, I sent off one of her engagement photos and had it replicated to a painting. From the moment I presented it to her and her husband, I never saw it again. I don’t know what she did with it, but it would seem that she never hung it anywhere.
A powerful way to connect with those we love is through the knowledge and use of known love languages. Whether it be a partner, significant other, spouse, or friend, we can meet each other’s emotional need to feel loved by understanding their primary love language. This alone provides a priceless advantage. You may also find it very helpful to evaluate and acknowledge your own key love language(s).
According to author Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 Love Language,” there are five expressions of love and the one that makes you feel most loved may be different than someone else’s. For example, I have a friend whose primary love language is indeed gifts. To give her a gift, provides her with a profound feeling of being loved. For myself, gifts do not provide me with that feeling. When someone provides to me an act of service, it could be anything, I feel truly loved. Here is a more comprehensive list of Gary’s 5 love languages:
Words of Affirmation
This would be the use of verbal compliments or words of appreciation. For example, “I love how you helped me clean up the kitchen after dinner.” We may often think these thoughts, but to those who feel deeply loved by affirmation, it can be meaningful and imperative to express it.
Quality Time
This is about giving someone your undivided attention and being attentive to them. Intimacy doesn’t just happen in the bedroom. It’s about spending time alone together in an atmosphere of communication, focused attention, eye contact, and respect. Spending daily time in healthy communication should be considered a minimum daily requirement. If quality time is primary to you or your partner, plan quality activities of mutual interest.
Acts of Service
By physically serving another, doing the things that you know they would like you to do, you can provide a profound expression of love to them. If you know this to be your partner’s primary love language, seek to do what you can to reduce their load. Make a list if it helps. Acts of service should not feel forced, but should be done out of love. Requests give direction to love, however, demands can stop the flow of love. Examples include cleaning, cooking, making beds, fixing things, and running errands.
Receiving Gifts
The long history of the giving of gifts is a cultural pattern which has intrigued anthropologists. Gifts are a visual symbol of love and a part of many modern day rituals. These gifts can be purchased, found, or made. If this is your partner’s primary love language, you may have to change your attitude toward spending money, but creativity can go a long way.
Physical Touch
There is great power in physical touch. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to one another. Physical touch is not limited to one localized area of the body, but some areas will be more sensitive than others. Light touches of love require little time, but much thought. If a primary need, expression through touch is only limited by the imagination.
Having a different primary love language than your partner may feel awkward at first to feed, but without knowledge you will continue to stumble. I would encourage, if you have not done so, that you and your partner do a questionnaire to understand what makes you each feel truly loved. Just web search the love languages quiz.
I sincerely believe that understanding your partner more fully can only enhance your relationship. What you learn can also be transferred to other relationships, including friendships. Providing someone with the feeling of being loved is a gift of ultimate value.
People who love each other fully and truly are the happiest people in the world. They may have little, they may have nothing, but they are happy people. Everything depends on how we love one another.
~ Mother Teresa
Regerence: Chapman, Gary (2010). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts (3rd Edition). Northfield Publishing.
It would seem that we are wired to gather together with others. According to Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, we are living in a period of time when coming together is more important than ever. Let’s explore why and when we gather.
Prehistoric hunter-gatherers often lived in groups of a few dozen people, consisting of several family units. There was diversity in an organized living space, allowing for the sharing of workload with a probable social network structure. With the prospect of various group configurations, there was an allowance to share, for example, large amounts of meat, when acquired, with other groups of neighboring communities. This provided sustenance, but also minimized waste. The concept of gathering also lays a foundation for language. Not needed when alone, the use of language allows for discussion regarding various important topics like hunting or child rearing strategies.
Communal living is still practiced today. It provides the opportunity to live in your own private space yet be part of a family. It may be practiced for financial reasons, for the social benefits, or to co-habitat with those of similar beliefs. Coexisting with others can be a treasure whereby fundamental needs are met, with a feeling of comfort and belonging.
In what ways do we, can we, gather together?
Conferences: As is said, iron sharpens iron. When we come together with a shared purpose to learn and grow, by sharpening each other’s blade, we become more effective tools. We can learn new skills from others while sharing our own.
Weddings: We can have a deeper sense of significance with key milestone moments when we gather in a symbolic ritual. There is some accountability when a couple makes promises to one another in the presence of witnesses. The ceremony represents the coming together of two families to support and hold the couple accountable for those promises to one another. It is a celebration of their bonded life together.
Funerals: This type of gathering provides a path for the processing of grief. Mourners have an opportunity to process the reality of what has happened. They can share memories of their loved one, while saying goodbye to that physical presence in their life. Sharing these aspects with others who may feel similarly, can be cathartic and healing. We can find comfort in this group setting.
Worship: Genesis 2:18 states God’s intent that we not be alone. As we engage in worship, we can encourage and be an inspiration to others. Non-believers can be influenced by love and good works. Mathew 18:20 says that where two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name, he will be with them. This supports the idea of a community of believers, not necessarily a building or institution.
Meals: It is a cultural custom to gather together around food. There seems significance in the breaking of bread together. Eating can be the most satisfying and joyful time of day. Why not share it with others? Not only does eating together create meaningful time, but studies show that not eating together has quantifiably negative effects on both physical and psychological well-being.
That are many ways to gather with others, both physically and virtually. Although we tend to gather with those that support us and our belief system, never underestimate the power of divine appointments. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable group setting, try to see the big picture. What good might come of it?
If you are feeling lonely, seek out groups and/or activities to provide the opportunity to gather with others. Share your light. Being willing and able to commune with others can provide perspective, cultivate inspiration, ease your burdens, and bring great joy.
British efforts to colonization America began in the late 16th century with initial failed attempts by England to establish permanent colonies in the North. The first of the permanent English colonies in the Americas was established in Jamestown, Virginia, in 1607
England captured the Dutch colony of New Netherland in the Anglo-Dutch Wars of the mid-17th century, leaving North America divided amongst the English, Spanish, and French empires. After decades of warring with France, Britain took control of the French colony of Canada and France’s territory east of the Mississippi River, as well as several Caribbean territories,
After succeeding his brother in 1685, King James II and his lieutenant, Edmund Andros, sought to assert the crown’s authority over colonial affairs. Even those colonies that retained their charters or proprietors were forced to assent to much greater royal control than had existed before the 1690s. With population growth and flourishing farms, by 1770, the economic output of the thirteen Colonies made up forty percent of the gross domestic product of the British Empire.
In the early 1770’s American colonists became more and more convinced that that the British Parliament intended to take away their freedom. They saw patterns of increased oppression, corruption, and taxation without representation. Britain began to prepare for war in early 1775 and the fighting began in April in Massachusetts.
With increased hostilities, on June 17th, the Revolution’s first battle inflicted heavy casualties on the British regiment of General William Howe at Breed’s Hill in Boston. The engagement, known as the battle of Bunker Hill, ended the British victory, but created encouragement of the revolutionary cause.
Strict rules of secrecy were put in place by the colonist-elected delegates attending the Continental Congress to protect American liberty and their own lives. On June 7, 1776, with the Revolutionary War in full swing, a resolution was introduced to announce the reasons for independence. Thomas Jefferson, a talented political writer, penned the first draft. On July 2, 1776, Congress voted to declare independence and two days later, on July 4th, it was ratified. Resting on the natural rights of mankind and the law of contract, Congress sought to prove that George III had grossly violated the compact and invoked the right of revolution. Battles continued.
The British removal of troops from Charleston and Savannah in late 1782 finally pointed to the end of the conflict. British and American negotiators in Paris signed preliminary peace terms in Paris late that November, and on September 3, 1783, Great Britain formally recognized the independence of the United States in the Treaty of Paris.
THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
The lyrics to this song were written by Francis Scott Key, a lawyer and poet, who witnessed the British attack on Fort McHenry, Baltimore Harbor in 1814. Key was inspired by the US victory and the sight of the US flag flying triumphantly above the fort after a borage of bomb shells and rockets through the night.
Key gave the poem to his brother-in-law Joseph H. Nicholson who noticed that the words fit the popular melody “The Anacreontic Song”, by English composer John Stafford Smith. Nicholson took the poem to a printer in Baltimore, who anonymously made the first known broadside printing on September 17. Originally titled “Defense of Fort McHenry,” the song increased in popularity with its first public appearance at the Captain McCauley’s Tavern.
The song gained popularity throughout the 19th century with bands playing it during public events, such as Independence Day celebrations. In 1930, Veterans of Foreign Wars started a petition for the United States to officially recognize “The Star Spangled Banner” as the national anthem. The House of Representatives passed a bill 1n 1930. The Senate passed the bill on March 3, 1931, and President, Herbert Hoover, officially signed and adopted it on March 4, 1931.
With four verses total, the second through fourth are not commonly performed. The 200th anniversary of the “Star-Spangled Banner” occurred in 2014 with various special events occurring throughout the United States
STATUE OF LIBERTY
As an ardent supporter of America, Frenchman Edouard de Laboulaye proposed in 1865, the idea of a monumental gift to the people of the United States. He wished to commemorate the centennial of America’s independence, to celebrate the close relationship between France and America, and to acknowledge the recent abolition of slavery. The latter furthering America’s ideals of liberty and freedom.
The French played a key role in the America’s success in defeating the British in the Revolutionary War. At the close of the war, a French fleet of 36 warships prevented British reinforcement or evacuation. Trapped and overpowered, Cornwallis of the British fleet, was forced to surrender his entire army on October 19, 1781.
Lady Liberty, the iconic copper structure was completed in France by sculptor Frederic-Auguste Bartholdi with the help of Alexandre Gustave Eiffel for structural integrity. The Liberty Enlightening the World, as originally known, was shipped in 350 pieces, contained in 214 crates and arrived in New York Harbor on June 17th, 1885. The concrete pedestal was completed in April of 1886 by Americans and the Statue erection completed by the French on October 28, 1886.
Symbols involved in the design:
Crown – represents light with its spikes evoking sun rays extending to the world
Tablet – inscribed with July 4, 1776 in Roman numeral, notes America’s independence
Shackle – the broken foot shackle symbolizes the end of slavery and overcoming bondage
Torch – signifies enlightenment spreading freedom and democracy to the world
The statue of Liberty has become a symbol of democracy over strife, as it has greeted multitudes of immigrants who have sailed passed her on their way to Ellis Island and the America’s. Lady Liberty provides inspiration and the hope of freedom to build a better life.
Albert Einstein conceived imagination as limitless when he said, “imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Imagination can provide a sense of freedom, an escape from the melancholy and the drudgery of life. It provides mental images of possibilities resulting from feelings and past experience. Setting goals is more helpful when we can imagine reaching them. For example, when we are driven to document corporate merit goals tied to not only performance, but also pay, we use the SMART system and choose goals that we deem as achievable. We imagine what we can achieve.
As Einstein eludes, the ability for humans to imagine is virtually unlimited. In addition to arbitrary escape, we use it when we daydream, to relieve stress, to heal, and also when we plan. Those that are most creative, like artists and writers, embrace imagination as a catalyst to invention. You can also witness boundless imagination in films produced for children.
Ways to harness the power of imagination:
Watch a fantasy or children’s film
Practice ‘Safe Place’ visualization meditation technique
Use the’ Lightstream Technique’ for trauma
Start your day by imagining the best possible scenario for that day
Utilize evocative imagery to overcome upcoming challenges
Experience safe and responsible experimentation in daily tasks/events
Practice ‘thought diffusion’ by imagining negative thoughts taking the form of shifting objects
Because your brain is challenged to differentiate real happenings from imagined happenings, imagination can be very powerful. You can use it to heal from the past, to create positive emotions in the present, and to embrace future encouraging outcomes.
The power is in your hands, or should I say, in your mind. Consider the use of imagination to capture the positive and diffuse the negative. Limitation is no excuse…
We’re living in a time of intense polarization among our fellow Americans. There are those that have such a passion for their beliefs, they do not allow others to express anything that may challenge it. In an effort to disqualify opposing views, they may attack or explode with toxic, abusive, and/or destructive behavior. This polarization is not just destroying relationships; it’s destroying our country.
With regard to politics, polarization has increased rapidly over the last 40 years. Meaning, citizens feel more negativity toward the other political party than their own. When people from differing political camps cease to respect each other, it’s much harder to make political compromises and to create good public policy.
In recent years, it seems that the divide reaches far beyond political opinions. Some people may be easily offended by others, with an insecure and unhealthy bias that is based on their own belief system. With easy access to the internet and groups of various affiliation, it is quite easy to surround yourself with like minds, whether right or wrong.
Yet tolerance is the amazing quality of allowing others to do or believe what they want to do/believe, even if you do not agree with it. It is fair and objective. It does not judge nor condemn. Being tolerant of others is a moral virtue and a behavior we should all seek to characterize. Even further is acceptance, embracing and celebrating the differences of others.
When we tolerate the actions and beliefs of others, we are giving them grace, and giving grace to others is God’s will for us. With unconditional acceptance, we open the door to more wisdom, more peace, and more love. With grace, we provide the opportunity to learn from those with opposing views. And although we may believe that our way is the right way, given our humanistic capacity, we often fall short. We may seek to influence others with our own beliefs and maybe even change their minds, however, we need not fix our countenance on making it so.
Expressing tolerance for others can be beneficial for all involved. According to Psychology Today, showing tolerance to others allows them to learn from their consequences in their own time and find their way without trying to control them.
Ways to help you to tolerate others:
Seek to understand their position
Empathize with their beliefs
Place emphasis on your similarities and ignore the differences
Accept that uncertainty is ok
Review your own beliefs, where they were derived, and whether valid
When you feel challenged with tolerance, check yourself first. Evaluate your thoughts and make sure that you are reacting from a healthy place. When your state of mind is disturbed by another, your ego may want to retaliate. Do not let it. Show patience with others by understanding that you yourself have likely, at some point, disturbed the peace of another. Whatever your surroundings may provide, you can always choose to grace with tolerance.
It is not unusual for people to drift in and out of our lives. They may stay for a season; they may stay for our lifetime; but there’s one thing I know for sure, divine appointments happen for a reason. They can be a blessing or a lesson.
It is also not unusual to find yourself in conflict with someone you care or cared about. We all carry emotional baggage that can trigger us or someone else. There can be misunderstanding, hurt or neglect that causes significant damage. As unfortunate as it may be, it’s possible for a conflict to affect a relationship so badly that it causes a separation. Forgiveness and reconciliation may seem impossible.
Scarlett shared a story about her dad with “Love What Matters.” He was an addict and died of an overdose in 2018. Their relationship had been difficult. Scarlett often found herself angry at him, angry at his comments, angry at his inability to do life, angry at his drunkenness and homelessness. Although she loved him, she frequently found herself embarrassed by him. Now that he is gone though, there is no chance of a healthy reconciliation. She is still angry, but she is angry at herself. She’s mad that she let her inability to forgive him affect the relationship. She says, “give forgiveness, because my regret over withholding it is stronger than all the anger I felt throughout the years. I forgave too late.”
Sometimes in life we have to choose between doing what’s easy and doing what’s right. Mending fences may not seem easy, but it may indeed be the right thing to do. The path to mending these vial connections starts with a foundation of forgiveness and a genuine desire for reconciliation. When we take the time to understand others and what they have been through, it may be possible that nothing is unforgivable.
Obstacles to forgiveness:
Pride – So long as you are hurt, you may feel that you are better than the person who hurt you.
Shame – You will need to come to terms with what happened.
Seeking vengeance – Retaliation is rarely noble and often unnecessary.
Clinging to being a victim – do you feel special status with being a victim?
In reality, to reconcile means to forgive, and to forgive means to let go of resentment and anger. For your part, take a look at your responsibility in the separation, if any. If self-forgiveness is needed, give yourself that gift. Empathy and compassion are great tools. Empathy helps you to understand another and compassion encourages you to take the action needed to reduce suffering.
Don’t wait until it is too late to reconcile a relationship. You can take action now. Release the negative emotions, forgive them, and reach out. Do what you know to be right, and don’t be a Scarlett.
The term redemption can have many meanings. It is an act of buying back something sold, delivering someone from captivity, or saving someone from sin.
Reference to the second definition can be found in the movie Shawshank redemption. The lead character in the move is sent to prison for the murder of his wife and her lover. During the trial and even after incarceration, he continued to proclaim his innocence. He made good use of his time in prison (20 years) by helping others. He expanded the prison library, coached others to attain their GED, and was a finance guru to those in authority. When he finally escaped the inept justice system, he revealed the corruption and began a new life in Mexico with proceeds skimmed from his financial assistance to others. The title of the movie emphasizes his delivery from captivity.
Are you yearning for redemption? Is there a situation or trial in your life that is making you feel trapped or captive to it? Perhaps it is a job, or a relationship. Take some time to evaluate the situation and examine your options. Try to move forward with action in the most practical manner. Consider seeking an objective perspective from someone you trust. Understand that your circumstances, whatever they may be, are not forever. Change is the only permanent aspect of life. This too shall pass. Have faith, hope, trust, and the courage to keep your focus on what is best for you.
According to Encyclopedia.com, Christian theology defines redemption as God’s deliverance of mankind form the evil of sin and His restoration of man to the state of grace by an act of divine power and merciful love. It is a fulfillment of Christ and a representation of both forgiveness and salvation. It is a gift to all and deserving of all. We cannot accomplish spiritual redemption in and of our own strength.
There are many verses in the bible that address redemption. Romans 3:24 says, “all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God. Jesus talked a great deal about faith, a catalyst for grace, leading to redemption.
It is in the spirit of love, that Jesus has paid the ransom, releasing us from sin and providing us with everlasting life. Know that you are worthy to accept his gift of love. As we surrender to his will in our life, we embrace his tender mercy.
“The doctrine of grace and redemption keeps us from seeing any person or situation as hopeless.”
Have you ever been offended by something someone said or did? According to the dictionary, to be offended means to feel or express hurt, indignation, or irritation because of a perceived wrong or insult. The key word in this definition may be “perceived.” The bible says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
According to Psychology Today, there is an epidemic of offense spreading faster than Ebola. With world events and politics so easily shared on social media, people are quick to judge and are also intolerant of any view that might differ from their own. While it is possible to take offense to rude language, for example, people will often take offense to what was meant or implied, rather than what was actually said. This happens when we are triggered by what is said or done. We are triggered because we choose to identify with it, perhaps due to a past hurt that has not been healed. This often leads to reaction.
The spirit of offense is subjective. Which means ill feelings may be more about the offended than the offender. What incites a reaction in one person may not affect another, and although we may have many reasons to be offended, should we be? Perhaps the spirit of offense is optional, a choice.
If you find yourself in a situation that offends you, pause before reacting. Take a moment to do a self-check. Ask yourself if your feelings are justified and if your response is due to a past hurt. Reacting, in turn, in a way that is hurtful is not the answer. Seek first to understand the other’s position and perception, then you may choose to foster a heart to heart discussion to calm the waters.
Taking unnecessary offense to another, can destroy a relationship and lead to misunderstanding. Overcoming the spirt of offense is possible. We can make sure that our expectations of others are realistic, acknowledge and heal our wounded spirit, and never assume negative intent of another.
Even if the spirit of offense feels justified, you can always go another route. You can take the high road, and keep your peace.
Self-discipline is the ability to control your behavior in a way that leads you to be more productive, have better habits and achieve positive results. The key, some might say, is in the control. Our ability to control our thoughts, feelings, and behavior is a catalyst to self-discipline. In addition, there seems a direct correlation between self-discipline and societal success. The world glorifies those deemed successful. So how can we cultivate self-discipline and transport ourselves into our own personal success story?
WHAT IS YOUR END GAME? Take some time to develop a realistic and achievable goal. Write it clearly with specific language and intent.
SET REALISTIC MILESTONES. Break down your goal in individual units or tasks. What does the completed task look like and what is the most effective timeline to achieve it? Make sure to post specific dates or the planned duration for each task.
EVALUATE MILESTONES. Set appropriate time(s) to analyze the milestone that you are current in the process of achieving. Are you putting in the time and effort needed to achieve the milestone as planned? If not, what can you do to adjust your effort? Make those adjustments as needed.
STAY THE COURSE. All great athletes started somewhere. It is guaranteed that they were not an overnight success. Self-discipline requires a motivation to success and the perseverance or patience to continue moving forward through any challenges that might arise.
Self-discipline can be helpful in all areas of life, how you eat, exercise, work, play, and love. If you can master it in one area of your life, you can transform that blueprint to other areas as well. There are many books available to assist with attaining and maintaining discipline and self-control.
Distraction will surely take you off course. If you find yourself distracted, your mind is seeking an escape from the task at hand. To reduce the risk of distraction, manage your time and stick to a schedule. Remind yourself as distracting thoughts arise, that they can be addressed later, when you have completed the needed task at hand. Stay focused until the task is complete.
When you choose to purse your goals with intention and perseverance, you build something better for yourself, you build success.
