The Blessing in Reconciliation

It is not unusual for people to drift in and out of our lives. They may stay for a season; they may stay for our lifetime; but there’s one thing I know for sure, divine appointments happen for a reason. They can be a blessing or a lesson.

It is also not unusual to find yourself in conflict with someone you care or cared about. We all carry emotional baggage that can trigger us or someone else. There can be misunderstanding, hurt or neglect that causes significant damage. As unfortunate as it may be, it’s possible for a conflict to affect a relationship so badly that it causes a separation. Forgiveness and reconciliation may seem impossible.

Scarlett shared a story about her dad with “Love What Matters.” He was an addict and died of an overdose in 2018. Their relationship had been difficult. Scarlett often found herself angry at him, angry at his comments, angry at his inability to do life, angry at his drunkenness and homelessness. Although she loved him, she frequently found herself embarrassed by him. Now that he is gone though, there is no chance of a healthy reconciliation. She is still angry, but she is angry at herself. She’s mad that she let her inability to forgive him affect the relationship. She says, “give forgiveness, because my regret over withholding it is stronger than all the anger I felt throughout the years. I forgave too late.”

Sometimes in life we have to choose between doing what’s easy and doing what’s right. Mending fences may not seem easy, but it may indeed be the right thing to do. The path to mending these vial connections starts with a foundation of forgiveness and a genuine desire for reconciliation. When we take the time to understand others and what they have been through, it may be possible that nothing is unforgivable.

Obstacles to forgiveness:

Pride – So long as you are hurt, you may feel that you are better than the person who hurt you.

Shame – You will need to come to terms with what happened.

Seeking vengeance – Retaliation is rarely noble and often unnecessary.

Clinging to being a victim – do you feel special status with being a victim?

In reality, to reconcile means to forgive, and to forgive means to let go of resentment and anger. For your part, take a look at your responsibility in the separation, if any. If self-forgiveness is needed, give yourself that gift. Empathy and compassion are great tools. Empathy helps you to understand another and compassion encourages you to take the action needed to reduce suffering.

Don’t wait until it is too late to reconcile a relationship. You can take action now. Release the negative emotions, forgive them, and reach out. Do what you know to be right, and don’t be a Scarlett.

Freedom in Forgiveness

A Michigan priest, named Gerald Johnson, posted a series of TikTok videos claiming that unforgivenss sent him on a supernatural visit to hell. It all started with a heart attack in February of 2016 when he says that his spirit left his physical body and he plummeted to the center of the Earth, to Hell.

He claims to have seen indescribable things, things that to this day, make him emotional to talk about. These views include demons, whose goal, he asserts, is to have mankind serve them in hell. While on this quest, he received a personal message from Jesus, who said, “You have been secretly upset with the people who have hurt you. You had been hoping that I would punish the people that hurt you. These are not your people. These are my people.’ He said, ‘I only want you to focus on the assignment I am giving you.'”

Johnson explained, “Although I did good, the thing I had in my heart was the unforgiveness to the people who wronged me. A person that can’t forgive is a person that has forgotten how much they have been forgiven of.” He ended the video warning people to get their hearts right before God. “We ought harbor nothing that separates us from our God.“

There are medical books that classify unforgiveness as a disease, claiming that the refusal to forgive makes people sick and keeps them that way. According to Dr. Michael Barry, a pastor and author of “The Forgiveness Project,” 61 percent of all cancer patients have forgiveness issues. “Chronic anxiety very predictably produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which is your body’s foot soldier in the fight against cancer,” he explains. Do not drink the poison of unforgiveness.

The bible has much to say about forgiveness. In Mathew chapter 18 verse 21-22, Jesus provides counsel as to what to do when a brother sins against you. This is the beginning of the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant:

21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Why does Jesus respond this way? It may be about keeping your peace, and self-preservation. If one wrongs you and you spend your energy convincing them that they have wronged you, that you have a right to be angry and to be attacking in some way, you call to yourself, even into the cells of your body, the energy of conflict, judgment, war, death, disease, unhappiness and separation instantly. Judgment is the opposite of forgiveness, for what you cannot accept, you will judge. But to forgive 70×7, you are many times reminded of the energy of unconditional love and perfect peace.

Forgiveness is an essential key to healing. We are called upon to forgive others, as God forgives us. Forgiveness doesn’t condone the behavior, but provides freedom from control by the person who harms us. There are many benefits to forgiveness. These include lower anxiety, improved self-esteem and relationships, and reduced symptoms of depression.

If you feel bound, choose to release yourself from the shackles of unforgiveness. God wants only that you focus on the assignment he has giving you. Let HIM be the judge and jury. Let our God deal with their dealings, so that you can move forward in perfect peace.

References:

https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2023/january/i-saw-the-real-hell-how-unforgiveness-sent-this-michigan-priest-on-a-supernatural-visit-to-hell
https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2015/June/The-Deadly-Consequences-of-Unforgiveness