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With Loving Kindness

On his way home one night, a man stopped and bought a sunflower to put on the windshield of someone he was smitten with. After some consideration, he decided that after just the one date, perhaps the gesture was too much.

In the morning, not wanting it to go to waste, he grabbed the flower with the intent to give it to a random person on his way to work. While sitting and drinking his coffee at a local shop, he saw a woman reading something, as tears quietly and quickly slid down her pale face. It was then, he knew, the flower was meant for her. He then approached her table, flower in hand.

The modern term “Loving kindness” was first defined in 1535 as tender and benevolent affection. It is an English translation of Chesed, a term found in the Hebrew Bible. Chesed means ‘kindness or love between people’, specifically of the devotional piety of people towards God as well as of love or mercy of God towards humanity. According to Meriam-Webster, one who is benevolent genuinely wishes other people well, with bene meaning “good,” and velle meaning “to wish.” Other comparable terms to describe an act of loving kindness might be warmhearted, considerate, or sympathetic. Can you recall a time when someone treated you with loving kindness?

With “kindness” being the quality or state of being kind, how is the activity affected by adding the adjective “loving?” Can we be kind without being loving? Can we be loving without being kind? Certainly it is possible to be kind to those we do not love, but should we not love everyone on some level? And to love without being kind, well, that seems impossible.

When a Buddhist monk was invited to speak to a senior class he said this, “Statistically, it’s highly unlikely that any of you will ever have the opportunity to run into a burning orphanage and rescue an infant. But, in the smallest gesture of kindness – a warm smile, holding the door for the person behind you, shoveling the driveway of the elderly person next door – you have committed an act of immeasurable profundity, because to each of us, our life is our universe.

So we might challenge you in the coming week, to seek out those opportunities to be not only kind, but to be kind in a loving, benevolent manner. As Mother Teresa once said, “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” And if we go back to the beginning, our master is our finest teacher at doing good. God, works most freely in an environment of loving-kindness. Therefore, praying for miracles without praying in love is like petitioning in a foreign language. When we pray, we should do so not only with intention, but with love in our heart.

Act of Kindness ideas:

  • Ask someone how you might bless them
  • Cook a meal for someone in need
  • Write a hand-written note to someone, telling them what they mean to you.
  • Leave a thoughtful gift for someone anonymously
  • Pay for items for the person behind you in a queue

In a world where we can be and do anything, why not be kind. We need not do it for accolades or to soothe the ego, but because it is right and a moral responsibility. By acting towards another with genuine loving kindness, we can create a positive shift in not only their world, but ours as well.

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Christmas Origins

Close your eyes and recollect your first memories of Christmas. Perhaps it was waking on Christmas morning and marveling, blurry eyed, at the spectacle laid before you. It can seem magical. Were there presents piled high under a magnificent, sparkling tree? And how could anyone resist the sheer excitement upon seeing the larger gifts, those much too big to hide behind wrapping paper.

If your childhood was similar to most, your first memory likely involved a jolly old man named Santa Claus, wearing a costume of red felt with white fir. How did our modern day Christmas evolve and where did this Santa Claus come from?

To understand the history of Christmas and the origins of Santa, one must travel back to the third century A.D. to a Greek area in Asia minor, now known as the southern coast of Turkey. Losing his parents at a young age, a young Christian named Nicholas, spent his entire inheritance in service to the needy.  With his devotion to God, he became Bishop of Myra and became known throughout the land for his generosity to those in need and his love for the children.

The girls of that time could be sold into slavery if no dowry were available to prospective husbands. In remediation, stories claim of bags of gold found in homes, having been tossed through open windows and landing in socks or shoes, laid before the fire to dry. There are even stories of Nicholas bringing children back to life after untimely death. Therefore, St. Nicholas became the patron and protector of children. It’s also been said that the modern Santa Claus is a direct descendent of England’s Father Christmas, who was not originally a gift-giver. However, Father Christmas and his other European variations are modern incarnations of old pagan ideas about spirits who traveled the sky in midwinter.

The Christmas tree is a 15th-century German invention, but is derived from the pagan practice of bringing greenery indoors to decorate in midwinter. Midwinter was deemed a time of celebration for the completed harvest and the winter solstice. Hanging the tree upside down represented a triangle. appearing similar to a cross, it was used to explain the trinity. The tree skirt originated for two reasons, to catch the pine needles and also to protect the table or floor from drops of candle wax. Being one of the first to do so, president Grover Cleveland decorated his Christmas tree with lights in 1895, because his daughters liked them.

But let us not forget the religious tradition of Christmas, the celebration of the birth of Christ. By the late second century, Christ’s birth was celebrated on January 6th in the east (Egypt and Asia Minor) and on December 25th in the western Roman Empire. The modern Armenian church continues to celebrate Christmas on January 6; however, December 25 would prevail for most Christians, while January 6 eventually came to be known as the Feast of the Epiphany, commemorating the arrival of the magi in Bethlehem. The period between became the holiday season later known as the 12 days of Christmas. Christmas was declared a federal holiday June 26, 1870. The first recorded date of Christmas being celebrated on December 25th was in the year 336, during the time of the Roman Emperor Constantine.

How might this date be derived? It is said to be biblically anchored to the conception of St. John the Baptist, which took place on the Jewish feast of “Yom Kippur” (Day of Atonement), which normally falls between Sept 22-30th in our modern calendar. According to Luke 1:26, the conception of Jesus via the holy spirit took place six months after the conception of John the Baptist, or more precisely March 25th. March 25 + 9 months gestation = December 25th.

So it would seem that Christmas is a mix of both Christian and Pagan traditions, with gift giving added at a later time. In your gifting plans this year, don’t forget to bless the non-profit entities, who can spread your blessing to so many in need. They are the modern day St. Nicholas.

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What Is Love?

Do you recall the first time that you fell in love? How did it feel? Were you walking on clouds? The experience of falling in love can bring about a mixture of many emotions. You may have felt:

Butterflies dancing in your tummy

Anxiousness at seeing them again

A yearning to plan a future with them.

So is love a feeling, or is it a choice? If a choice, does choosing to love require action? Is love an action verb? Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “love is not enough.” How can love not be enough?

To love and be loved is precious, but if we do not show love, is it still love?

I heard a story recently, told by a man, we’ll call him Joe, who felt called to visit a guitar store while returning to his hotel room, after picking up some food. He didn’t need a guitar, yet he felt called to make the stop. Upon arrival he found a kid jamming on an electric guitar. Joe reached out to the boy and started a conversation with him. The kid opened up to Joe. He told him about his drug addiction and how his father had recently committed suicide. Joe displayed so much love for him that the kid wants him to meet his girlfriend and daughter who are shopping next door. They walk next door and Joe prays with the family, then he blesses them by paying for all the items purchased. They are blown away by Joe’s act of compassion. It was such a blessing to them and there seemed no strings attached. The family thought there surely must be a catch.

As they depart, the kid returns to the guitar store to play yet another guitar. It seemed a coping mechanism. Joe then learns from the family that this kid has not talked to any man since his father took his own life. And a year prior, the kid had sold his guitar to bail himself out of jail, due to a drug violation. The kid had stopped using drugs at that point, but now, no longer had an instrument to play. Joe was so moved by what he heard, that he then went back into the guitar store and bought the kid a guitar, replacing what was lost. There was no judgment, no negative opinion, and he didn’t simply hand him cash, he showed him love. Had this family ever felt such love?

In our society we tend to identify ourselves by what we do for a living.  Joe identifies himself as “a guy that loves people.” We should all aspire to such selfless action. What would our world be like with more Joes in it?  I encourage you, as you move through your day, to not just feel love for others, but to BE love. Perhaps we should not focus so much on our standard of living, but more on our standard of giving.

If you are old enough to remember Mister Rogers, you may recall this quote, “There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.“

Genuine love should not be based on words alone or false deeds, but grounded on authentic actions. Love doesn’t just trust or hope, but it completes specific acts for the purpose of accomplishing those things for which that are trusted and hoped.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18-19

I would encourage you to look for ways to give the gift of love to someone over the coming week. Look for opportunities to give to someone in need.  It doesn’t have to be monetary. It could be a simple service. Here are some ideas:

  • Open/hold the door for someone
  • Be gracious: say thank you, look people in the eye, be sincere
  • Make something and give it away
  • To those that want to be seen, SEE THEM.
  • To those that want to be heard, HEAR THEM.
  • Run an errand for the elderly.

To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care. Surely we are capable of that. Happiness can be found when we take the opportunity to bless others.

 If you feel troubled, instead of getting MAD about an event or circumstance, go MAD. Make A Difference for someone else. You will be amazed at how it makes you feel. We can serve others, not out of ego, but out of getting in touch with our true nature, which is love. You were made to love. Not only are you love, you are loved, loving, and lovable … always.

The giver is bigger than the receiver. If you want to be large, larger than life, learn to Give. Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything.

The importance of giving, blessing others can never be over emphasized because there’s always joy in giving. Learn to make someone happy by acts of giving.”

~ Katharine Hepburn

(from Everything Good in the World)